Sunday, October 28, 2007
Episode 4: Chilshish....Allure??
Well for those of you who don't know what allure is, it means attraction. So right now I believe that everything has it's bad sides. Like how anime can be bad because it might corrupt a persons head or... how much optimism might result to failure in the end. Well this person describes all of the said things. Not directly but...i think you get my point.
I never intended to be really close to this person(let's call this person Rebecca[gah! darn Wild arms!!]). So when I first saw Rebecca she was with Flint. Me, having no idea of what's happening I came to my other friends- Lance, Fallon...etc. I remember Fallon once told me that she introduced both of them then they suddenly became inseparable. I thought of plotting a plan. Yes, a BAD plan. I plotted to get close to Rebecca and make sure that Flint was alone. Yes, I know it was bad...but back then when she stopped hang out with us as if we were replaced made us mad. Anyway, I soon decided to stop what I was planning since it was too....well...something. Until finally one day, I communicated with her. So even I suddenly became inseparable with her. The plan that I backed out on suddenly appeared, the irony of everything. So since that time we became inseparable.
Recently we're not really talking that much. If she asks a question I answer and our conversation is over. So anyway, recently this person is really getting into my nerves. When I recall and look back....if we hadn't met then things would have been a lot more peaceful. Although...when I also looked back. I can't help but thank her for the troubles that she has given me and my friends. I know it's weird that I'm thanking the person who gave us troubles..but it's true. Without her I would still be the same person I was back then. Without her me and Flint wouldn't have settled the hidden cracks between us. So even if she does give us trouble...I still thank her. So thank you Rebecca.
Posted by Cresent at Sunday, October 28, 2007
Friday, October 26, 2007
Questions to ask yourself...regularly.
Someone once observed that you learn more by the questions you ask than by the answers you give. Call it Socratic learning, if you will, but I find that asking questions of myself helps keep me on track. Here are ten I ask regularly.
What am I resisting?
The seeds of growth lie in your resistance to what is new, unfamiliar, or unpleasant. All too often, the very things we resist most are the things that force us to grow the most. So, be attentive to those subtle gut-tightening signals that hint of an opportunity for learning
What is the lesson here?
There's a second step that is needed to reinforce the insight gained by asking the first question. In order to really benefit, we have to actually seek out the lesson, demonstrate that we really want to hear, and be willing to follow the often-subtle guidance that comes.
Have I been here before?
Often our most pressing issues are thinly disguised versions of problems we've failed to solve in the past. Different names and faces maybe, but the same underneath, destined not to go away until we meet and resolve them once and for all. If your answer to this question is, yes, then maybe it's time to get to the bottom of the issue and solve it!
Am I losing energy to this?
We pay a price for every negative thought we entertain, and it's measured in decreased energy, heightened depression, reduced immune function, and sometimes serious illness. Although you may believe otherwise, we have to reach the place where anger, frustration, worry, and criticism have no place in our experience. Until we do, we are losing energy, diluting our focus, and rendering ourselves vulnerable.
Am I holding on to something I need to let go of?
One of the most difficult tasks of this life consists in letting go-of our attachments, of ego, of our need to be right, and ultimately, of this life. You cannot fly unless you are willing to relinquish your firm footing on earth; flying requires that sort of faith, and commitment. The surprising thing is that, when we really let go, we begin to grow.
Am I in the present?
Every moment you spend regretting the past or worrying about the future is a moment of the present, lost. Yes, we need to complete the past, wind up our unfinished business, and be attentive to trends that portend of future events, but we can take action only in the present. So, that's where your full attention needs to be, and staying in the present is a full time job.
What do I need to do now?
To act or not to act, that is the question. Whether tis nobler in the mind to take action against a sea of troubles and so by doing, prolong them, or to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous inaction and so gain clarity. (Shakespeare would sue for what I've done to Hamlet's timeless prose) Put the question differently: is there a NEED for action now? Often, we act because we're afraid that, if we don't, things will get worse. The truth is that deliberate inaction is action, and it is often a way to allow a cloudy situation to become clear.
Who's in control here?
True or false?: It's important to be in control of your life. Control can be a big issue for some people, especially if they feel they don't have it. So, granted, it's perfectly reasonable to want to feel in control. Letting go of the past, staying in the present, and taking action (including no action) are all ways to develop a sense that you are in control. But, let me suggest that there is a step beyond control. It is to recognize that, ultimately, you are NOT in control-that you are always subject to a higher authority. Paradoxically, this recognition and your acknowledgement of it can free you from the need to always be IN control.
What is my responsibility here?
Have you noticed how some people have a need to involve others in their problems? If it's your boss, your significant other, or your child, it's normal to conclude that your have to do something. But, that something doesn't mean becoming part of the problem! Your responsibility, in this case, is to maintain a level of detachment that will enable you to see the situation clearly, and this clarity pertains not only to the solution, but to the extent that you should be involved in the problem in the first place.
Am I at peace with this?
Do you know when you're at peace with something? Chances are, it's when you can look at an issue, person, or problem and feel no charge, no subtle or sudden surge of emotion. But peace is something more. It's about balance, an inner certainty that you are untouched by it, him, or her. The peace-check is a key element in gaining closure, in ascertaining that the situation is complete.
Posted by Cresent at Friday, October 26, 2007
Monday, October 22, 2007
Feeling left behind anyone?
Have any of you Guys feel....well I don't know? Left behind.. Like...ugh... for example, you go with your group of friends then suddenly you feel as if you're left behind. Like, one person is paired with the other and your the only one left without a partner. So what you do is that you just stick with them but the feeling of being left out is there. I'll tell you my story and how I end up feeling this way..
Well I finally go back to my own group of friends. What's different with my group of friends now is that we have a new friend join the group, Blue. She's also a friend of mine even before I rejoined my group. At first, I was happy cuz all of us were having fun. Me and White would usually hang out together after classes because she's trying out for a varsity slot in our schools swimming team and I always practice there cuz I'm part of the team. Anyway, a few weeks pass by there was some change. White had a cold so she can't go swimming(it's alright, I understand.. I usually just swim and talk to my other friends in the pool. Anyway, enough of that that's another story.). Then as time passes I noticed that they were going in groups. Like... Blue, Violet and Orange goes together as one group. White, is usually too busy or she goes out with other people. Black and Pink are usually both together. I feel as if I wasn't part of the group anymore. I kept on telling myself that I wanted to transfer schools, you know. Get a new life and start again. Sadly my dream of transferring schools that time was impossible. My father already payed full tuition and I'm already half way the school year. There's no way I'll be allowed to transfer. Anyway, I go with them even with the feeling of being left out or...how we call it "OP". One day while I was eating cereal fro breakfast I thought of this situation...then something hit me.
At this point a friend of mine, Flint, noticed my condition. She jokes around a bit saying things like I'll look older if I lack sleep or I already look old that even the flies are surrounding me. Anyway, after Filipino I go back to sleep when she approaches me and notices that I'm hot. She suggests that I go to the clinic. She volunteers to escort me there(which I'm not sure if she's concerned or she just wants to go out....hehehe JOKE!) So anyway, I stay in the clinic until 12 or lunch time.
-From one of my posts entitled "today..."
During recess time my friends all went to visit me when I was in the clinic. That thought really hit me.I was like..."how could I be so stupid! I was never left behind...It was only a temporary feeling. In the end I was never left behind." When I knew that it made me really happy to know.
Now what's the lesson here? Simply said, don't say that your useless or people leave you behind. When you look back you might be surprised on how much you have helped others or how they helped you.
Posted by Cresent at Monday, October 22, 2007
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
Episode 4: The Poet
I met this guy since last year but we weren't formally introduced until this year. He's a fellow writer like me. Although, unlike me he takes his writing into constant practice by joining the the Tambuli Club, our school's club newspaper. I've read his poems and they were nice. You can really see the feeling being displayed in his poems. Yes, he's a fool for romance. A guy who hids in the dark with her as his only source of light. Hahaha! Wow this was really filled with cheese and corn!
Following my foolish yet "poetic" verse, I actually enjoy talking to him and he's a fun guy. I remember one time when a friend of our was in trouble. He gave his advice and our friend and another friend left to go somewhere. Me and him were left there we talked about things, like how good it is to know that you helped someone or to know that you play a role in a persons life. I can't help but agree. Usually after classes we would bump into each other and we would talk if neither of us were busy. We would talk about serious things...and sometimes about his story that he's making with his------ Okay that's confidential. Also sometimes we would bump into each other again after I'm done with my swimming. Again we talk and if there is something troubling him he would share it with me. (Man... I wish I could do the same...)
Right now I asked him if he would want to join our Outreach group, a group wherein we talk about God and how we can make our everyday activities pleasing to Him. He said he'll still check on it. Since every Thurs is when we take it and they prepare for their PMT.... -_-
Posted by Cresent at Wednesday, October 17, 2007
Exams and Priorities
Huh...well the exams are nearing. I have World History, English and Values as my first 3 exams. I'm kinda lazy to study really(that explains why I'm writing here). Anyway, I'm lazy...but...I don't want to fail! I just want to get a good grade. Practically all my teachers have been telling me that my grades are lower this quarter especially my World History and Chemistry Teachers. Huh... to be honest I just want to swim and relax. Even if I'm not joining the upcoming Milo Little Olympics... I just want to do what I want ofcourse that will never happen. I know I have my priorities. I always have my career 3rd in my list, 2nd is my family and the top spot is my God, the 4th of course is my friends.
Posted by Cresent at Wednesday, October 17, 2007
Thursday, October 11, 2007
Fear
Have you ever been afraid? I mean very afraid? I am... every passing day, the fact that the days are counting to that day, the more I think about it the more I ask myself questions. The more I ask myself, the more I am afraid. Though I feel honored to be there but am I good enough? Just that question fears me. I know it's not right to worry on how people will think of you... It's just that I want to give...to show myself what I am. I want to show myself that I'm good by how people will see me. I mean... you might have your talent, you want to know where you are that's why you ask. I mean the use of competitions is to prove yourself, prove to yourself what you are made of. In other words, what's the use of moving when you don't know where you are?
To tell the truth I was shocked by how fast I was accepted. I was proud of it. I really was and I think I let it show. I was happy really happy that I got in. I made fun friends when doing this.
Prize, right, friends? What more could you ask for? Though whenever somebody would tell me that I don't belong with them... I get hurt yet in the same time get a taste of reality. Reality, because I wonder why I got there. I mean "why did I get in?" "HOW DID I GET IN?" I understand that my coach has high hopes for me like any other aspiring athlete or athlete. But still...(ugh...my words are so jumbled!!) "HOW GOOD AM I?".So that's why every night I pray to God that I'll get better. Every night I pray that I'll be alright. I pray that He will take good care of me and give me the stamina and strength to improve. Every time during practice, when ever I feel tired or I can't go on, I tell myself "Just a little more." "I can't give up" "Lord, please help" The reason why I go beyond my limits is because I know that if I don't break it I can't become better.
Hence, as the days count by...I pray to God that I will be able to prove myself. That I will be able to be the best I can when that day comes...I'll leave the rest to you me Shepard.
Countdown:
Posted by Cresent at Thursday, October 11, 2007
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
COOK!
Well I'd just want to share one hobby I love to do.....COOKING! Anyway, I started cooking since I was little and I think the first thing I was able to cook was either Pancit canton or Corned beef. After that I started making scrambled eggs, though I didn't eat them, my sister did. Anyway, after that I started observing people when they cook. Usually I look at people when they cook desserts and since I just look at them, at first I destroy the food or making something very new from what I wanted to make. Why I like too cook? I don't know really... maybe it's just the fun of experimenting things. You know, mixing ingredients then testing how it would taste. Anyway... just to hurry things up, I'm currently trying to make good brownies! When I make good ones I'll try bringing them to school and see what my peeps would think....Hmm...
Posted by Cresent at Wednesday, October 10, 2007
Tuesday, October 9, 2007
What should I do?
This week and probably next week is really getting to me. I don't really know what to do next. I want to cut some slack but I can't. Cause if I do I would go way behind my deadlines. I just hate it! I can't write nor draw at least everyday. Even my schedule for praying changed, for the past few days I seem to forget to pray before I sleep so usually I would then just pray in the morning. Huh... like right now, I have to make a comic strip, in the same time I have to practice big time for the Milo little Olympics, this coming October 19, 2007(correct me if I'm wrong). Then by next week, if the Milo little Olympics really will start on October 19, I will be having a hard time balancing training and study. Both the Milo little Olympics and our quarter exams will start on the same date, October 19, 2007. Anyway, I just hope I can get use to these changes without changing for the worst. Hehehe...
Notes:
*I know it's bad to complain. I mean really "what's the use?" So I'm just saying what I want to express something that I do not or cannot express personally or in reality.
*I pray that I'll do good this week and the following weeks to come, both in my academic grades and my swimming skill.
Posted by Cresent at Tuesday, October 09, 2007
Sunday, October 7, 2007
Fall out boys!
I'm starting to really like this band. Though I only like the music, I'm still not sure of their lyrics. Some of they're songs are just remixes of other songs. I love their songs that's all I can say. The songs they have ain't also so...uh... "screamo" unlike other alternative rock bands.
Posted by Cresent at Sunday, October 07, 2007
Friday, October 5, 2007
Sport
Ah...I feel like taking about my sport- Swimming. I love it! It's a great sport! I mean... you get a lot of things in swimming. Of course that depends on what you want to get. Some people do it to exercise their body and lungs. Others want to cool down but still lose carbs. While some others, want it for the competition. Almost everyday of every school week, I train the our school pool. Before I swim I always tell myself, "Yes! Finally swimming!" but when it starts it's ironic that I ask my coach to shorten the work out. Anyway, when I just started doing the training I was a real wreck! I didn't even know how to do all the strokes properly. A first I'm really disappointed at myself for being so bad at this sport when my pool mates are all fast. But that never stopped me. I trained and trained. I want to be better than the others in the pool. I want to show myself... for once I won something big.
When I look back at this... I realized something. When you engage seriously into sports... it'll oddly become similar to life. I mean you "train" to become the best. You do things that you don't like, you don't rest even when you're tired the only thing driving you is you're belief and your passion, your determination to be the best. When you think you can do it you "chose" to tournament or contest. You test yourself "how far have I gone?". If you win you have improved. If you lose you are yet to grow better but don't thing bring you down. Everybody faces loses, I mean a winner now was a loser before. Learn your mistakes, learn from your enemies, Search for the reason why you lost. Then you go back to square one... "Train" You "train" to grow and "chose" to prove.
Posted by Cresent at Friday, October 05, 2007
Traveling
Actually I love to travel, travel to other places and to here then go there but out of all the things that I want to travel in I hate traveling in a car the most. Not only is the space and movement limited but it drains my energy big time! The only thing that could make this worse other than the car travel and the noisy snores....is how to go there. Will the road be curved? Straight? Ups and Downs? or a combination of all 3? .....I think I'm going to hurl...
Posted by Cresent at Friday, October 05, 2007
Smile
| Directed by | Jeffrey Kramer |
|---|---|
| Produced by | Kern Konwiser |
| Written by | Jeffrey Kramer |
| Starring | Sean Astin Mika Boorem Yi Ding Beau Bridges Linda Hamilton Luoyong Wang |
| Music by | Neil Giraldo |
| Cinematography | Edward J. Pei |
| Editing by | Maysie Hoy |
Katie, a teenage girl from Malibu, California, finds herself in the throes of growing up, facing her parents, her boyfriends, her sexuality and a privileged life. Half a world away in rural China, Lin, who shares the birthday with Katie, faces a much different reality. Because of facial deformity, she lives a life of fear and shame. Her father, Daniel, has devoted his life to her, with hopes and dreams that her circumstances will change one day.
The opportunity comes with the discovery of the worldwide "Doctor's Gift" program. Katie signs up for a trip to China. Once there, she is deeply touched by the work, which prompts her to take off on her own to find Lin. A "smile" is brought to Lin's face, Katie finds her soul and their extraordinary connection becomes a life-changing experience for both girls.
This movie is based on the work of the charity Operation Smile. -from wikipedia.org
I love this movie! It's very nice and extremely dramatic. It shows that reality truly is TOUGH.
Posted by Cresent at Friday, October 05, 2007
Tuesday, October 2, 2007
Today..
Well today was rather different. It was crazy actually. I first woke up at 12 to finish my group's script for our play in English. I finished at 2 in the morning then fell asleep again. After I woke up at 4:30 I go the kitchen and grab something to eat. Went to school even when my condition suggested that I have fever. So anyway, I go to class and sleep before our teachers enter the class. At this point a friend of mine, Flint, noticed my condition. She jokes around a bit saying things like I'll look older if I lack sleep or I already look old that even the flies are surrounding me. Anyway, after Filipino I go back to sleep when she approaches me and notices that I'm hot. She suggests that I go to the clinic. She volunteers to escort me there(which I'm not sure if she's concerned or she just wants to go out....hehehe JOKE!) So anyway, I stay in the clinic until 12 or lunch time.
After classes, my usual schedule is to go to the pool, leave my things and wear my slippers. Everything was good, a friend of mine Olrac said hi to me far away, he didn't see where he was going so he bumped on the column. I was laughing like it was my last. Crisis came when I found out... "I forgot my swimsuit!!!". Yes, I forgot to pack my swimsuit. Drastically I call my mother and ask her to bring my swimsuit to school. Unfortunately my brother did not want to drive in circles. I though of a way to find and borrow a swimsuit. I call Ayame and ask if she has a swimsuit. I was so thankful to know that she has. Now all we needed to do was to go to her house, which was not far from the school, and retrieve the swimsuit. It all ended happily. I was able to get a swimsuit and swim.
Posted by Cresent at Tuesday, October 02, 2007
Monday, October 1, 2007
Episode 3: Him
I know somebody, he was a great guy- nice, funny and etc. Sadly what's wrong with him is that he is too caught up in the dark. He is too... the opposite of over optimistic. Anyway, this guy is also really impatient as well as really emotional, especially when it comes to love. He thinks that love is the only reason why he lives. I try my best to help him in anyway I could. I give him advice and tell him to change. Recently, he showed something that would make me take back all the things that I said. In a split second, he returned to what he was when I first knew him. Everynight I would pray that God will guide him. Everyday during classes I pray that he is alright and God may protect him. But over all there is one writing that truly describes him.I got up early one morning and rushed right into the day;
I had so much to accomplish that I didn't have time to pray,Problems just tumbled about me, and heavier came each task.
"Why doesn't God help me?" I wondered.
He answered, "You didn't ask."I wanted to see joy and beauty, but the day toiled on, gray and bleak;
I wondered why God didn't show me.
He said," But you didn't seek."I tried to come into God's presence; I used all my keys at the lock.
God gently and lovingly chided,
"My child you didn't knock."I woke up early this morning, and paused before entering the day;
I had so much to accomplish that I had to take time to pray.
In other words all he need is God and everything will follow.
Posted by Cresent at Monday, October 01, 2007
Once Blind
Have you guys ever thought that you were alone? That you are not needed and it is better to die? To tell you the truth... I have. At some times at some point I felt that I was alone and everybody was against me. I felt so sad, I wanted to kill himself, I even went to the extent that I would injure myself to "ease the pain". When I think about it today...I tell myself how stupid I was that I thought like that. Anyway, I've changed. Before I was filled with pride. Now slowly I try to become more humble. My frequent training area? During training practice, a lot of people are better than me. I want to grow and be better. Of course it was never easy to abandon your pride. But if that pride of yours is the reason why people hate you? Then why not change. Being humble starts even when you want to improve your skill. All I did was close my eyes and just hope that I did the right thing. I pray to God and ask for his guidance and protection. I follow his words even trying to resist when temptation or persecution rises. It's not easy to change but if you pray and do your role then expect to see results... good results.