Thursday, October 11, 2007
Fear
Have you ever been afraid? I mean very afraid? I am... every passing day, the fact that the days are counting to that day, the more I think about it the more I ask myself questions. The more I ask myself, the more I am afraid. Though I feel honored to be there but am I good enough? Just that question fears me. I know it's not right to worry on how people will think of you... It's just that I want to give...to show myself what I am. I want to show myself that I'm good by how people will see me. I mean... you might have your talent, you want to know where you are that's why you ask. I mean the use of competitions is to prove yourself, prove to yourself what you are made of. In other words, what's the use of moving when you don't know where you are?
To tell the truth I was shocked by how fast I was accepted. I was proud of it. I really was and I think I let it show. I was happy really happy that I got in. I made fun friends when doing this.
Prize, right, friends? What more could you ask for? Though whenever somebody would tell me that I don't belong with them... I get hurt yet in the same time get a taste of reality. Reality, because I wonder why I got there. I mean "why did I get in?" "HOW DID I GET IN?" I understand that my coach has high hopes for me like any other aspiring athlete or athlete. But still...(ugh...my words are so jumbled!!) "HOW GOOD AM I?".So that's why every night I pray to God that I'll get better. Every night I pray that I'll be alright. I pray that He will take good care of me and give me the stamina and strength to improve. Every time during practice, when ever I feel tired or I can't go on, I tell myself "Just a little more." "I can't give up" "Lord, please help" The reason why I go beyond my limits is because I know that if I don't break it I can't become better.
Hence, as the days count by...I pray to God that I will be able to prove myself. That I will be able to be the best I can when that day comes...I'll leave the rest to you me Shepard.
Countdown: